August 20, 2015

It's been a while since my last diary entry.  I've been busy and it's been too hard for me to write.  How much more depression can anyone read, anyway?  I promise this entry will have hope.

After determining that I am beyond the point of no return, I did what I always do: make a plan.  I don't believe in hopeless situations.  I think we can always make things better, if we just plan it out.  So I need to re-evaluate my life and work.  How do I do this?

First, I need to separate out that which I was called from by Jesus and that which I am not.  That was pretty easy.  The one, big thing I was not called to is to manage the three acre Sanctuary property.  I am called to the homeless, and I am called to care for my family and I am called to write.  So I've got to release that unnecessary burden, because the rest is enough.   So I handed in my resignation of that job earlier this week, and we had a meeting which determined what is part of the job and what is not.  I've got some work to do to organize for the next person, but I should be able to finish that out by the end of the month.  Of course, if no one picks up the pieces, we could have chaos... but we might not.  The owners of the property, the Mennonite Conference is willing to wait and see.  Good enough.

Second, I need some time to evaluate, and to revitalize self-care and my spiritual life.  So I am taking the month of September off from everything-- family, work, friends, the internet, everything.  I will still be doing writing, but not to instantly publish, so I can consider what kind of writing I should be doing, and what is growing my spirit and what is shrinking my relationship with God.

But what about Anawim during this time?  I got together a group of leaders and potential leaders in Anawim and told them that I was considering quitting and shutting down and that I needed to know if they were willing to step up to keep the facility going.  Most of these are people who don't need the facility or services anymore, but have used them in the past.  They all said they would keep it going, get the necessary training and to step up to take my place.  I have 16 people who are willing to help volunteer, especially during September.  So we will have it run without me, and see what happens.  Part of this is testing my delegating skills, I guess.

At the beginning of October, I will come back.  I will have evaluated myself to see what I am able to do.  I will get reports from Anawim and evaluate what Anawim is able to do without me.  And then we will plan for the future.

So, faithful readers, do you think this is reasonable?