An email returned to a long lost friend, Nadja:
It seems that every culture has their own blind spots. In Germany, it seems, it's education. In the U.S., it's labor. There is a standard way of doing labor in the U.S.-- find an employer, work for them 40 hours a week and then you can get a place to live, etc. If you don't work that much, then you can't make enough money to rent a place, and no one will rent to anyone anymore unless they have a job (or some government help). But there are so many people who don't qualify for government assistance and yet can't work 40 hours a week. And that's the category most homeless people find themselves in. They can't do the labor our society expects as a minimum, and then they are forced to be outlaws because cities declare homelessness illegal.
As to why you have the "turning over tables" syndrome? I went through that myself when I was really struggling with life and stuff a few years ago. I felt so desperately lonely, as if Diane and I were going through it all alone. And no one cared about what I saw or did or the people I cared about. I can honestly say that no one was praying for the people we were praying for. No one cared about them. We just felt so isolated. But for me, anyway, a lot of it was a hormone imbalance. Probably caused by overwork. And, honestly, a lack of support. We have more support now than we have ever had. And I feel more confident and assured than ever before. It's strange, really. I have been so used to going it alone, blazing a trail no one wanted to follow, that I feel like an administrator now, which is really out of my league. I'd much rather cook for a hundred people myself than to gather five people to do it for me. But part of the ministry, now, is providing people with opportunities to serve God. I really believe that working for God is a part of our salvation, whether we are wealthy or on the street. So I look for work for people to do. But who made me a delegator? This is not the job I wanted! Actually, I never DID get the job I wanted. Oh well, just going through the flow.