Monday, September 07, 2015

Sept 7, 2015

It is little remembered that Jesus' first day of rest was spent in the "lower parts of the earth."  Rest isn't a paradise.  We must travel the path of Dante before we can reach that.  Our first stop is Inferno.

My first days of rest are full of sickness, struggle and pain.  This is nothing different than every day before my rest, but then I had adrenaline and activity to cover up my daily feelings. When you rest, all you have left is your weariness, your body aches, your suffering.

To rest is a choice to surrender my addiction-- adrenaline.  Just like any other drug, withdrawals have consequences.  Withdrawal sickness is common, and sometimes painful.  To rest is to experience pain, to endure flame.  I took two naps on my first day of rest.  Now, on my third day, I was restless all night, so I am worn all the more.

I know that it is only for a season. I have to put on a good face for my parents.  But inside I just want to be by myself.

Still, I am creating a bit.  And I've almost finished my first Murakami novel.

And I am trying to put myself on a new schedule.  This month is about re-building my spirituality and diet.  Low animal fat, more exercise (but gentle, gentle on my sprained ankle), and diving back into prayer.  It will be a good month, but hopefully I'll have enough stamina to create balance.

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