Trapped by Hatred

Jesus told us to love our enemies, so if we are followers of Jesus, that’s pretty basic.  But even as followers of Jesus we can create an enemy in our minds so insidious, so horrible that whatever measures we use against that enemy is justified.  This is called hatred or rage or bitterness. It could be against an ex-spouse, against a political party, against a group who hurt us, against a corporation or against an ideology.

Signs We Are In Attack Mode

 It is a state of mind, like falling in love, in which all of our life experiences are colored by this experience, and we don’t know how much it affects us.  And if someone mentions it, we will often deny that we are in a state of hatred.  So how can we know?  Here are some signs:

1.       We find ourselves thinking about these same wrongs done by our opponent when our minds are at ease.

2.       We will re-direct conversations (especially on the internet) to the wrongs done, even when the connection in the conversation is tenuous at best.

3.       Our friends stop conversing with us, for fear we will bring up this subject again.

4.       We ignore our close friends’ recommendations that we have gone over the deep end in this subject.

5.       We excuse our actions and obsessions by saying, “But they deserve it!” which gives us an excuse to list their sins again.

6.       We pursue any opportunity to list the sins of our opponent, and we think that this is the best way to gather supporters against them.

7.       We cannot see what good our opponent does, everything they do is black, with no shades of gray.

8.       Those who see some good they do, or who question some of our propositions must be absolutely convinced of our opponent’s evil.

9.       If it comes, we rejoice in our opponent’s downfall.

10.   We find ourselves participating in groups that express hatred in open terms with which we are uncomfortable, but we think our cause allows for that.

What can we do?

If we find ourselves in such a state, we might be both a little embarrassed but also assured that we are right.  In some ways we might very well be right.  It is easy to find wrongdoers, but harder to change the situation into right.  Jesus does not want us to spew hatred against our enemies, but to love them, to convert them to doing right through Him.  How can we do that?

1.       Change ourselves.

If we want to change those around us, or part of the world, we must first change ourselves.  We must be the change we see in others.  If we want to be listened to, we must first listen.  If we want to be forgiven, we must first forgive.  If we want justice, we must first enact justice.  If we want our opponent to change, we must enact the change in our lives, in our communities, and show how it works better.

2.       Release bitterness.

Our listing of other’s sins and perpetual angry speech isn’t hurting our opponent, it is only hurting ourselves by making us bitter people.   We need to recognize that we are making others uncomfortable with us by creating an enemy.  Even if they have attacked us first, we are the ones perpetuating the war.  For our own sakes, we need to release this bitterness.  But if our minds are so focused on this, how can we possibly overcome it?

-Take a fast of judging speech.  Don’t post anything angry about anyone on your FB page, don’t blog about it, don’t talk to your spouse about it for as long as you feel necessary.  A month is a good, round number, and the sins of our opponent will still be there when we are done with the fast.

-Don’t allow ourselves to think about it when our minds our quiet.  We can’t actually stop thinking about something, but we can distract ourselves with things that are positive—books, movies, music that focuses us on what is good, honorable and noble.

-Make a list of what positive things our opponent has done.  Every person, group and organization has done something good.  If we can’t see it, it is because we are blinded by our own anger.  If we really want our opponents to change, we must admit what good they have done, even if the good is only positive motivation—that they tried to do something good, even if they failed.  This is a hard step, but unless we can do this, our own healing is on hold.

3.       Use your anger for good

Bald anger only produces more anger.  We can use our anger to be wise, to see good be done. Instead of speaking against someone, we need to figure out ways to positively stop the evil being done.  To “win” is not to cause our opponent to fail, for that only leaves a void for another person/organization to step in and cause evil again.  Rather, we need to produce good that will replace the evil.  This requires imagination and ingenuity.  But if we have the energy to be angry, we have the energy to turn that anger to produce good out of it.  And in whatever action you do against your opponent, be able to say to them honestly “I love you (opponent), and so I want to see (positive action) happen.”

4.       For every negative comment, make two positive ones

There is a time for anger.  There is a time to talk about wrongs done.  But if that’s all we are talking about, we are only bringing more anger into the world.  Vow to not only talk about wrongs done on the internet or in conversation, but to focus on the good.  Be funny.  Post beauty.  Encourage someone.  In this way your life will have a better balance.  

"Be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to become angry."  James 1:19

Top 5 Music Artists for My Writing

I have not done this. Yet.

My writing habit is to find a place where no one will disturb me-- like a Starbucks or fast food restaurant-- plug in some music to drown the noise out and get going.  This means I need a music that is loud enough to do the job, but not so distracting that I focus on the music instead of my writing.  Musicals are out, because they always tempt me to break out in song, which isn't often welcome at Starbucks, but also distracts me from my writing.  A general list of my favorite songs also have the same problem.  I don't usually listen to 70's or Classic Rock, because each song demands my attention.

I do make playlists for my writing times, but more often than not I play through an artist that gives me the focus I need.  These artists aren't boring, but they have a flow and they assist me in focusing, as well as giving me a mood as a background to my writing.

Red Mountain Church
This is a worship group that plays a soothing Americana to old hymns with lost music.  Powerful, deep and interesting vocal talent.  Good for writing about Jesus.

Red House Painters
What is it about bands with "Red" in the name?  These folks are even more soothing, playing your basic acoustic guitar and piano.  Their songs tend to run long, which is good, and they play covers which are unrecognizable from the original, but good in their own right. Good for writing in general.

Radiohead
I have to qualify that my Radiohead collection is pretty unique in that I don't have some of their more stand out songs, which I consider irritating.  I still have a number of albums worth of songs, and they are perfect for writing, especially if I am really intense or angry.

Black Heart Procession
I have loved these guys since I first heard them in a local coffee shop.  They have a spooky quality, almost like you were listing to the soundtrack to a horror film about children with squeaky swings and low tones.  The funny thing is, they are not dark, but teasing around the darkness, which makes them perfect for when I feel snarky.

Branches
Again with the Americana.  Catchy songs, but folksy and just wonderful.  I suppose someday I'll get tired of them, but they are just what I need right now.







As far as I'm concerned, these bands, plus Peter Gabriel, Sam Phillips, John Michel Talbot and others are the sponsors of my writing.  They have made my life richer.

My Top Ten Muppets

When people think "muppets" often they limit themselves to The Muppet Show or movies.  And that show was a lot of fun, but we need to remember that muppets got their break on Sesame Street, and they made important appearances in other films.  My list will be more comprehensive:



Yoda: Always wise, trying to reach a balance between waiting and action, he's a great creation and voiced by regular muppet-master Frank Oz.

Grover: Not too bright, but always ready to help and full of energy.

Animal: Hyper, wild, not-so-articulate, but always there to speak up.  Loudly.

Cookie Monster: The most adorable addict ever.

Ludo: Sensitive, helpful, but also really, really strong, he's my favorite character from Labyrinth.  

Gonzo: The most unique of the muppets.  He looks different, thinks different and... does unique things.

Herry Monster: A muppet who is not often considered, but his gentle ways have always charmed me.

Count von Count: Whenever I have to count to a number less than ten, I always want to end it: Ah hahahaha!  And sometimes do.  I am often disappointed that there is no thunderclap.

Beeker:  Always anxious, and always having reason to, he can never say more than "meep".

Prarie Dawn: Very girlie, a good leader and sometimes very pushy. 

My Personal Facebook Rules

1.       Make peace, encourage love, seek God, stir up thinking on Facebook.  Repost whatever fits those categories.

2.       Don’t post if I am too tired, cranky, or depressed.

3.       Don’t try to offend people, but if I do, don’t sweat it

4.       FB is public: If my post isn’t appropriate to share from a pulpit, it’s not appropriate to post. No personal information, no insults, no personal rants (unless it’s funny), no passive aggressive posts, nothing crude (lightly crude is okay). Look at a post again.  Is it really appropriate?  If I have doubts, either check with my wife or take it off.

5.       I am responsible for the content on my timeline.  If someone posts slander or an insult on my timeline, then I am responsible to take it off.

6.       Occasionally try to initiate discussion.  Ask questions, seek input.  It’s more fun if more people are involved.

7.       Don’t get into long, pointless arguments.  Once either I or the other are no longer listening, or we repeat ourselves, it’s time to stop.

8.       Don’t be so serious. Post heavy stuff, but also exchange it with some funny.  If I laugh at something, I like or share it

9.   Always try to say "Happy birthday" to my friends.

Modern Medicine

Four weeks ago, Mike-- our handyman at Anawim and good friend-- fell and hit his head on a sidewalk near our house.  He happened to fall in front of the police, who saw he wasn't getting up, so they picked him up and took him to the hospital. It turned out he had blood on his brain, which caused a severe memory lapse. Health-wise, he wasn't doing well, so the kept him in ICU.

Mike also drank daily, and being without alcohol put him into shock.  They sedated him in the hospital, but his body wasn't really equipped to deal with such a sudden change.  Complications arose, and his heart stopped, with no oxygen going to his brain for a short period of time.  He remained sedated for a week, and when he came out, he didn't respond to anyone.  He is alive, but he isn't there.  Today they will take out his ventilator tube and he will die.

I thought I was prepared for this, but I'm really not.

If he had just dropped dead, or not woken up one day, I was ready for that.  But death doesn't seem to work that way anymore.  I've had dozens of my friends die, but usually it is sudden, or they make choices to (basically) end their lives by their actions.  Mike wasn't like that, neither was Rick who was in my house last year.  And death isn't sudden, but a long, drawn out process.  When we have hope and very, very gradually, that hope is dashed until we realize that they will linger, as different people, and just fade away, as completely different people than who they were the rest of their lives.

Not only that, but I find myself (as a pastor of people who are often estranged from their family) making life and death choices that family should be doing.  I'm not complaining about this so much as realizing that I am not emotionally prepared to deal with this.  Almost all of us have to make these kinds of choices for our parents as they grow older, but to have this long-term grief, and anger, and being "wise" (or at least boldly faking it) for many people is too difficult for anyone.

I remember a few years ago wishing that family didn't have as much power over people they didn't really know.  I've had family call me and tell me that they were glad that their homeless family member was dead.  I've had family call me and blame me for their deaths because I didn't force them to make better choices.   Family like that shouldn't really be making life and death decisions.  On the other hand, the burden of making these choices, and not knowing if one has the right to make these decisions, as well as wondering if I'm smart enough or wise enough or worthy to make such choices.

Especially when I am struggling deeply with the ethical issues that our increased medicine gives us.  More and more often choices have to be made for people who are mentally incapacitated.  We-- family members or otherwise-- are asked "what would they chose in this situation?", and there is, of course, no answer, unless they have a living will.   They haven't been in this situation before.  And hardly anyone talks to their friends about what they would want if they were going to live their lives in a lower mental capacity for the rest of their lives.  It's all guesswork.

Mike's daughter was found.  It turns out that she hadn't seen him for fifteen years, even though he claimed to have seen her every couple months.  He has two grandsons he had never seen.  Sarah, his daughter, last saw him when she was learning how to drive at 16.  Now she sees him, unconscious, almost dead.  She never learned who her father was, really.  Now she is the one to decide whether he will live or die.  I feel horrible for her.  It must be terrible to be responsible for someone you loved but didn't really know.  It must be so hard to know that you will never get to know your own father, even though he is right there, in front of you.

Things are much more complicated than they used to be.  Years ago, Mike might have just died.  Or we would have taken him home, made sure he had his beers, and he would still be alive, if a bit impaired.  We would have made the life and death decisions, who have lived with him and loved him for the last seven years.  Sarah still would be ignorant of what happened.  I'm not saying the old system is better.  But I think I could process all this better the old way.

Honestly, I'm not upset at anything that happened along the way.  I'm just processing.  Long death is so difficult.

C.S. Lewis on Why We Need Modern Translations

There has been some controversy about why we should have modern translations of the Bible.  "After all, if the King James English was good enough for the Apostle Paul, it's good enough for me."  Well, C.S. Lewis disagreed with that sort of thinking, and here is his introduction to J.B. Philips modern translation of the New Testament:

"It is possible that the reader who opens this volume on the counter of a bookshop may ask himself why we need a new translation of any part of the Bible, and, if of any, why of the Epistles. ‘Do we not already possess’, it may be said, ‘in the Authorised Version the most beautiful rendering which any language can boast?’ Some people whom I have met go further and feel that a modern translation is not only unnecessary but even offensive. They cannot bear to see the time-honoured words altered; it seems to them irreverent.

There are several answers to such people. In the first place the kind of objection which they feel to a new translation is very like the objection which was once felt to any English translation at all. Dozens of sincerely pious people in the sixteenth century shuddered at the idea of turning the time-honoured Latin of the Vulgate into our common and (as they thought) ‘barbarous’ English. A sacred truth seemed to them to have lost its sanctity when it was stripped of the polysyllabic Latin, long heard at Mass and at Hours, and put into ‘language such as men do use’ — language steeped in all the commonplace associations of the nursery, the inn, the stable, and the street. The answer then was the same as the answer now.

The only kind of sanctity which Scripture can lose (or, at least, New Testament scripture) by being modernized is an accidental kind which it never had for its writers or its earliest readers. The New Testament in the original Greek is not a work of literary art: it is not written in a solemn, ecclesiastical language, it is written in the sort of Greek which was spoken over the Eastern Mediterranean after Greek had become an international language and therefore lost its real beauty and subtlety. In it we see Greek used by people who have no real feeling for Greek words because Greek words are not the words they spoke when they were children. It is sort of ‘basic’ Greek; a language without roots in the soil, a utilitarian, commercial and administrative language.

Does this shock us? It ought not to, except as the Incarnation itself ought to shock us. The same divine humility which decreed that God should become a baby at a peasant-woman’s breast, and later an arrested field preacher in the hands of the Roman police, decreed also that He should be preached in a vulgar, prosaic and unliterary language. If you can stomach the one, you can stomach the other. The Incarnation is in that sense, an incurably irreverent doctrine: Christianity, in that sense, an incurably irreverent religion. When we expect that it should have come before the World in all the beauty that we now feel in the Authorised Version we are as wide of the mark as the Jews were in expecting that the Messiah would come as a great earthly King. The real sanctity, the real beauty and sublimity of the New Testament (as of Christ’s life) are of a different sort: miles deeper or further in.


In the second place, the Authorised Version has ceased to be a good (that is, a clear) translation. It is no longer modern English: the meanings of words have changed. The same antique glamour which has made it (in the superficial sense) so ‘beautiful’, so ’sacred’, so ‘comforting’, and so ‘inspiring’, has also made it in many place unintelligible. Thus where St Paul says ‘I know nothing against myself,’ it translates ‘I know nothing by myself.’ That was a good translation (though even then rather old-fashioned) in the sixteenth century: to the modern reader it means either nothing, or something quite different from what St Paul said. The truth is that if we are to have translation at all we must have periodical re-translation. There is no such thing as translating a book into another language once for all, for a language is a changing thing. If your son is to have clothes it is no good buying him a suit once for all: he will grow out of it and have to be re-clothed.

And finally, though it may seem a sour paradox — we must sometimes get away from the Authorised Version, if for no other reason, simply because it is so beautiful and so solemn. Beauty exalts, but beauty so lulls. Early associations endear but they also confuse. Through that beautiful solemnity the transporting or horrifying realities of which the Book tells may come to us blunted and disarmed and we may only sigh with tranquil veneration when we ought to be burning with shame or struck dumb with terror or carried out of ourselves by ravishing hopes and adorations. Does the word ’scourged’ really come home to us like ‘flogged’? Does ‘mocked him’ sting like ‘jeered at him’?

We ought therefore to welcome all new translations (when they are made by sound scholars) and most certainly those who are approaching the Bible for the first time will be wise not to begin with the Authorised Version — except perhaps for the historical books of the Old Testament where its anachronisms suit the saga-like material well enough. … It would have saved me a great deal of labour if this book had come into my hands when I first seriously began to try to discover what Christianity was."

God's Path to Happiness

Jesus wants us to be happy

God created us with the capacity to be happy.  We are so often discontent with our lives, we forget the happiness we have been given.  We are made to feel pleasure, to enjoy life, to have joy, to be satisfied with what we have.  God’s purpose for us all is for us to be happy in Him, to live lives of deep joy and contentment.  This doesn’t mean that we won’t suffer, nor does it mean that we won’t also feel deep sorrow.  But the overall purpose of our existence is not to mourn, but to rejoice.  For some of us, the long-lasting joy will have to wait until eternity.  But we can all experience satisfaction and happiness now.

Happiness comes from lifestyle choices

Studies have shown that our genetic make up—whether we are generally a melancholy or bubbly person— only accounts for 10 percent of our level of happiness.  And our experiences—whether someone insults us or we win the lottery—only accounts for 30 percent of whether we are generally happy or not.  What really makes us happy or not is in our control. 

This doesn’t mean that we should pursue happiness or positive thinking.  Just thinking happy thoughts actually just means that we try to suppress negative thoughts and that doesn’t work. Rather the way to be happy is to develop habits which make us satisfied in the long term.  Happiness isn’t the same as pleasure—we must pursue long-term solutions, not short-term excitements.

Basic Needs

Money doesn’t make us happy.  Studies have shown that money can make us happy, if we are desperate to have our needs fulfilled, and money makes us satisfy those needs.  But it isn’t the money that makes us happy, but the meeting of our basic needs.  After one’s basic needs are met, then money has nothing to do with happiness.  To be happy, we need to make sure we have what our bodies need: good food, water, rest, health, and connection to other people.

“Give me neither poverty nor riches, give me the food I need.” Proverbs 30:8

New Experiences

So often we think that if we had this item, we would be happy.  The new television, the better computer, the bigger house, the collection of stuff we’d wanted for so long.  But stuff only makes us happy for a moment because we are ultimately no different than the child we were who would be overjoyed at the gift we longed for, and then seek the next item as soon as the last was opened.  Studies have shown that instead of trying to grab more stuff, we should seek experiences.  We should go out on dates with our spouses, take walks in beautiful neighborhoods, cook and enjoy a particularly good meal.  Things don’t give us memories, good, unique experiences do.

Gratitude

In order to be happy, we need to be thankful for what good we have.  It is easy for some of us to focus on complaining on what we don’t have or on how our lives fall short of our ideal.  If we want to be happy, we need to make a regular habit of looking at the good in our lives and being grateful for it.  My family gathers once a week to thank God for what good has happened that week.  In the worst weeks, we thank God we are alive and breathing.  But almost every week, each of us has something specific that we are grateful for.

“Every good and perfect gift is from above.” James 1:17  “In everything give thanks.” I Thessalonians 5:18

Contentment

We always have parts of our lives that aren’t going the way we want.  Sometimes it seems that there is nothing in our lives that is going right.  Everything seems negative or hopeless.  We could complain, but that doesn’t help our attitude.  We could get angry, but that only deepens our frustration with life.  When we are tempted to complain, we don’t need to put on a false attitude of happiness, but we can look at our lives and say, “I can live with this.”  Our lives may not be what we want, but we can teach ourselves to be content with what we have, especially if we can’t change it.

“I have learned to be content in all circumstances.” Philippians 4:11

Suffering

There are times in our lives in which we deeply suffer.  Some of us live in deep poverty.  Some of us are attacked or caused real pain. At some point we lose someone we have deeply loved. Others of us have chronic health conditions.  Some of us deal with pain on a regular basis. Some of us suffer because of our own poor choices—overwork, sin, additions, pain in relationships.  These conditions certainly effect our happiness, and no amount of “happy thinking” will change that.  However, in every kind of suffering we endure, there is a benefit we can obtain from it.  We cannot just expect good will come out of suffering, but we have to seek it.  If our suffering comes from sin, we can seek repentance and forgiveness.  If our suffering comes from illness, we can seek health.  If our suffering comes from being attacked, we can seek God’s redemption.  The funny thing is, when we return to our “normal” state after suffering, we are happier than we were before.  Enduring through suffering and seeking help actually makes us happy, and more content with our lives.

“We exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation leads to endurance, endurance to proven character, and proven character to hope.”  Romans 5:3-4

Contemplative Silence

Our world is more hectic than ever, and our own busyness is often our own worst enemy.  We all can reach a point when we are so active that we become ineffective in the very actions we pursue, and this leads to frustration and hopelessness.  To reduce this frustration, we all need times of silence and focus.  This doesn’t mean that we just tell everyone to shut up, but we get away from others and their expectations and from all the work we need to do and we just stay quiet before God.  We listen to Him and to what He wants to say.  Perhaps He will say nothing.  Perhaps we can just enjoy the rest.  But in order for us to remain content, we must have time with God, focusing on Him alone.

“Early in the morning, when it was still dark, Jesus got up, left everyone, went to a secluded place and prayed.” Mark 1:35

Positive relationships

Our relationships with others deeply affect our attitudes toward life in general.  Our unhappiness increases as we are isolated or lonely.  No matter how irritating or frustrating other people can be, they still are the ones who will grant us the greatest source of happiness in our lives.  The fact is, though, people can be—inevitably WILL be—irritating and frustrating, no matter how much we care about them.  And it is rare for a person to be so bad that they will always be a source of pain and not joy.  The habit we need to develop with others is to seek the positive and avoid the negative.  Not to get rid of negative people, but to find the positive in all people.  The worst person has a good habit or intentions—seek that, develop that in your interactions with the person.  You can’t make them better, but you can encourage what you love about them when they are with you.

“Love one another” John 13:34

Serve others

So many people think that happiness is created by focusing on oneself, and one’s own pleasures or contentment.  But one of the greatest tools of our own happiness is acting on our compassion for others.  The happiest people in the world are those who regularly serve others, to no benefit for themselves.  God made us to be content only when we are taking part of our lives to serve others.  Seek a regular opportunity to serve those in need.  Volunteer at a local organization or church that helps the poor.  Keep socks or breakfast bars to give to the homeless when they have a sign.  One of the best feelings you will have is after you hear “thank you” from another person.

“Sell your possessions and give to the poor and you will have treasure in heaven.” Luke 12:33

Thanks to those who have studied the psychology of happiness over the past couple decades.  This article was inspired by their studies and many of the points drawn from their conclusions.

Five Free (or really cheap) Ways to Save Your Computer

I have had, on occasion, a terrible time with my computer.  I have gotten things eaten by a virus, had my hard drive crash, and had both my computer and backup stolen (both at once).  I have never been concerned about the computers themselves, but the data on them is precious, and now I'm in the place where very important data is lost forever.

I know, shed a tear for me.  I'm such a martyr.

However, there are four simple things I could have done (and now do) to protect my data and computer.  Most of them are free.  One of them is pretty cheap.  I now pass this information on to you, so you can avoid my own terrible tragedies.

1. Microsoft Security Essentials
There are many virus programs out there, but many of them are pricey and many more are invasive, making it difficult to run some programs (I'm looking at you, Norton).  Security Essentials is a very basic virus program, it's free, and it runs when you want it to run.  And it doesn't prevent you from running anything else.  If you've got Windows, it's a pretty foundational security system.

2. Malware Bytes
Not every program gets every virus.  And not every invasive software is labeled a "virus".  Sometimes it's called an "advertisement".  Sometimes it's known as "oops, I got on the wrong site".   When a foundational program like Security Essentials is blocked, often Malware Bytes can still help you.  It finds more than just viruses, and gets you out of the wrong site syndrome.

3. Web of Trust
Perhaps you're thinking, "If only there was a way to know which websites were bad to get on in the first place."  Well, there is!  Web of Trust is a cloud source to find out which pages and sites were found to contain malware or viruses.  WoT is easy to run-- you just watch the circle at your toolbar or next to each link on every page.  If it's red, don't go there.  If it's green, it's safe.  If it's yellow, you make your own wary choice.  Simple.

4. Revo Uninstaller
Suppose you downloaded a program and it won't uninstall all the way.  Or a program that leaves pieces for you to discover later.  Or a program already installed on your computer that you can't get off, even with their own uninstall program (Yes, I'm still looking at you, Norton).  Revo Uninstaller is your solution.  You select the program and it will look for every piece of the program, wherever it is hiding and then politely ask your permission to throw every piece of the program into oblivion.  It's very satisfying, really.

5. Online Backup
Sometimes we lose all our data, and we can't recover it.  Physical backups are good, but if you're like me, you might forget to back up.  Or you might get your back up stolen at the same time as your computer.  I know, it sounds ridiculous, but it could happen. :'(  The solution is an online backup that does it all for you without you having to worry about it.  I recently (all too recently) signed up with Crash Plan, which allows me to have all my data backed up for $6/a month (or less if I sign up for a year or more at a time).  I have found that this is necessary for me to keep my data secure, and not too much to spend compared to the years I have spend creating my data.

(Thanks to my computer guru-- my son-- for most of these tips)

I Stand With Jesus

I declare that to sacrifice the poor for the economic wealth of a nation is a form of greed, which is idolatry.

I stand with Jesus who stands with the poor and outcast. 

Choosing Heroes

I have a list of heroes.  Not superheroes, but people I deeply admire and want to emulate as much as possible.  The list is a number of radical followers of Jesus who not only spoke about the gospel, but lived it out to such an extreme that they changed the world because of it.  My short list would include:

Francis of Assisi-- Who surrendered all he had to the poor, and began a movement of service and devotion

Peter Waldo-- Who took Jesus' words seriously and taught others to do the same

Archbishop Desmond Tutu-- Who prophetically lived out the gospel and also forgave his enemies

Dorothy Day-- Who began a movement of service to the poor.

Elisabeth Elliot-- Who loved those who killed her husband that she devoted her life to them

John Wycliffe-- Who did all he could to make the gospel accessible to everyone

Paul the Apostle-- Who worked on bringing the gospel to all the world, not just a narrow group

Anthony the Desert Father-- Who saw clearly the corruption of the church and lived a life of costly purity

Frankly, there are many others, but these stand out.

What I'd really like to talk about is three individuals that I truly admire deeply, but they each have a quality I cannot admire, and almost ruin their biographies, in my mind. Here are the three:

Martin Luther--  While he gave the world a new focus on the word of God, he ended his life promoting hatred against the Jews and against those who disagreed with his interpretation.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer-- Who clearly taught the path of discipleship and church life, but then rejected his own (and Jesus') teaching when he worked to assassinate Hitler.

Martin Luther King Jr.-- Who brought freedom and justice at the cost of his own life to many people in the name of Jesus, but also regularly broke his faithfulness with his wife.

Mind you, I only mention these three because I admire them so much.  They were bold for the gospel.  They didn't just talk the talk, but did great things in the name of Jesus.  They fought against oppression and taught the word of God in the face of persecution.  They have every quality I love, but each had a quality I have to distance myself from.

I cannot judge these men.  God alone is their judge and I fully expect to see them in God's kingdom.  Perhaps the real issue is that I know too much about them.  Perhaps if I knew more about Elisabeth Elliot I might not admire her so much, or Patrick of Ireland.  Certainly Augustine and Calvin are on my negative list because of the persecution of followers of Jesus they were actively, and unrepentedly, involved in.

We need to choose what we admire carefully.  Jesus was the only perfect person, and we must recognize and admit our heroes' shortcomings.  But let us love our heroes freely and imitate what we can.

Paul the Apostle said, "Imitate me as I imitate Christ".  I assume that also means that we should not imitate Paul in the ways he does not imitate Jesus.  I guess that goes with all our leaders.  But in the end, we need to make a decision whether our leaders imitate Jesus enough that they are worthy of emulation.

How Did You Meet Your Significant Other?

How I got to know Diane and we ended up spending the rest of our lives together:

We saw each other from across a high school classroom.  We were both taking sign language.  Her friend pointed me out and said, "Doesn't he look like a creep?"

The next semester we were also in a sign language class, but a smaller one of only five people.  I wanted to be left alone and to study, but she and her friend kept doing Looney Tunes imitations (Bugs, Marvin the Martian, Foghorn) until I smiled.  Then they knew they had me.

I refused to date in high school and my future bride knew this, so we became friends, but no more than that.  We'd go to movies or drive to the beach with other friends.  We both liked Narnia, so that was cool.

We ended up in the same college together about thirty miles away from where we graduated from high school.  She went there with her family, I went there to take studies in interpreting for the hearing impaired.  I would hang out at her house sometimes and we would write stories together.

After I went to India for six months and then to school in Portland, I realized I had feelings for her.  During my summer break we hung out and I asked, "So, what do you think about all this stuff people are saying about us, about us getting together?"  The conversation went downhill after that, but eventually we realized that we should be an item.

Another year goes by and we tried to get her into my school in Portland, but there's no money.  In a moment of realization, I say, "I know!  I can take a year off of school, we can get married this year and then go back next year to finish and you can take a year with me!"  She agreed that it was a good plan.  Only after did we realize that this half-thought out plan was my proposal and her acceptance.

I'm such a romantic. :P

How did you meet your spouse or significant other?

Poor Deliverance

"I firmly believe that our salvation depends on the poor."

-Dorothy Day,
co-founder of the Catholic Worker movement

Alone

"When you feel all alone, the Light is still comforting you."

Divisions

Chinocoreleon asks:
If Christians worship the same God, why can they not put their theological differences aside and cooperate actively with each other?

Because when a religion focuses on "belief", then they tend to consider intellectual assent to be central. If the intellect is central, then the doctrine becomes more and more specific over time. The Protestant Reformation caused a stretching of this (after wars and centuries), but the habit of narrowly defining doctrine is a habit that is hard to break.

Many Christians feel that doctrine has become a burden, and it must be lightened. However, now the question becomes WHICH doctrines should be considered less significant? That's the stage Christianity is going though now, and it is a difficult process. Suppose someone took your most prized values and said, "That's not so important." It just doesn't feel good.

But it is true that Christians need to work together.  The kingdom of God should be changing the world, and as long as we are separated into different buildings, different ideologies and different organizational groups, we will not work together to do what is important: feed the poor, love the outcast, heal the sick, and show Jesus' love to all.  

Chic-fil-a Is Not To Blame (Nor the Liberals)

The whole "liberal"/"conservative" name calling, bashing, narrow-mindedly-assuming-their-opinion posing is a load of BS. I just saw a blog my friend posted and it basically said that anyone who stood with Chic-fil-a is of Satan. That's insane.

Often I am labeled as "liberal" because I'm anti-war and I give my life to serve the homeless. Other people consider me conservative because I think the bible teaches that homosexuality is a sin and abortion is the killing of an innocent human being.

 I'm not though. I am trying my best to stand with Jesus. And standing with Jesus means that at times you will stand against the conservative position and sometimes against the liberal position.

 It doesn't have anything to do with using other people's money, because both political positions do that-- they just disagree about what to do with the money, what the purpose of government is. 

I don't care what the government does with its billions of dollars. I care about what God's people do with their billions of dollars.

It is a crime for any church to spend money on themselves and not on the poor, the helpless and the oppressed, whether it is war victims, the homeless, the unborn, or homosexual victims of hate crime.

So many people point at the Catholic church as hypocrites in this regard. They are only the biggest offenders because they they've been around longer than any of us. But any church that has a building that has a room empty five days a week and does not use that space for the poor and oppressed at least some of that time is doing the same thing.

Not every church is disobedient to Jesus, but almost. If Jesus were here, he would shut down almost all churches and use the buildings to house the homeless, feed the hungry, educate the ignorant and provide a house of love to all who are unloved.

We have no right to point at Chic-fil-a, or liberals, or another denomination or our neighbors or our internet friends. If we are not spending our time helping the needy, whichever needy we are called to help, using our resources to help them, then we need to look at ourselves and shut up about anyone else.

Counter Protest Mania!

Below are a group of my favorite counter protesters against the Westboro Baptist Church.  If you don't know who WBC is, they are the "God Hates Fags" people.  What a lie.  God loves fags.  And lesbians.  And the homeless.  And the military.  And drunks.  And Republicans.  And Democrats.  And white people, black people, Asian people, native people, immigrant people.  And even you, WBC!  

Two from the Comic-con:

I love this one: 

 An awesome young person counter protester:

And my favorite counter protester:

The Need of Silence

There are two things that are essential ingredients to a happy, productive life: love and silence.

We must give and receive love, which can keep us very busy.  But we must balance out our love with silence.

In silence is prayer, it is rest, it is renewal, it is peace.

More often than not, we can find both God and ourselves in the silence.  For those full of fear or anxiety or guilt or doubt or pain, silence is frightening.  But it is still essential because without silence we cannot properly process and move past these issues.

In order for silence to do it's work, we must trust the Spirit in the silence.  Trust that the Spirit will heal us, and will empower us to keep living.  Trust that if we listen, the Spirit will speak.  

And in an age of the internet and iPods and social networks, silence is hard to achieve.  There are so many things we "need" to do.  And our minds are so busy.  We need to stop and allow our minds to rest and allow the Spirit to do some work for us.  So, at times, we desperately need to shut our computers off, take our headphones out, get in the shower and turn on the water.

I like to occasionally go to a monastery and take a few days of silence (Trappist monasteries are good for that, and many have lodging for men and women). 

The Limitations of Science

The question was asked, "Can we know anything?"

An answer was given: "Try research.  Science knows things.

And I got to thinking:

We can know certain things through research or experimentation. But all knowledge based on someone else's experimentation is ultimately reliant on trust in their methods and practice. 


And even then a good conclusion to a good experiment has many caveats and limitations: "This is true in this case, but possibly not true in general." Thus the actual knowledge of any given study is narrow at best. 


And then, if we were only to base our practical knowledge on what is proven in experimentation, then we'd have a hard time eating breakfast because different studies show different things in relation to the nutrition of eggs.

It seems to me, most of the time, life is just about thinking and assuming, not knowing.