Sunday, July 12, 2015

Week of July 7 2015, part III

I've got a real problem.  People are complimenting me much too highly.  When people hear about all that I do, or get a notion of it, then I am overly praised.  It took me a long time to get used to everyone who comes to the church to thank me, even if I had little to do with what they were thanking me for.  I didn't cook the meal, or serve it or even clean their dishes, but they were thanking me for it anyway.

But I figure that they need to thank someone.  It's for their own well being and health to be grateful, so even if they are thanking the wrong person, I can act as a stand-in for that person and try to pass it on later, if I remember.

But there are people who certainly give me too much credit.  This week, when someone found out that I had eight formerly homeless people in my house, they said, "You are amazing!"  But I'm not.  I'm human and weak and other people remind me of that, recognizing that I screw up.  Another person once quoted, "When I think about What Would Jesus Do, I just consider what would Steve do, and I find that it's close enough."

Wow, really?

I am a far distance from Jesus.  As much as I would like to be like Him, I will never be able to catch up. And I am an unworthy model compared to Him.  Here's some differences:

1. I'm ready to give up every day.
I know that Jesus was willing to surrender the cup, but that was just one night.  Generally he was gung ho about pursuing God's will, no holds barred.  He went the whole distance, and I am whining about quitting.  I haven't given up yet, but I feel so ready to.

2. I am a major screw up
I yell at people and act unloving every day.  I pray for love and teach about love and peacemaking, but I am a far distance from Jesus' ability to remain loving and caring.  I am just not dependent on the Holy Spirit enough to be an example of love.

3. I am not living in faith as Jesus
Jesus was able to feed thousands with two fish and a few loaves of bread.  I work hard to get thousands of pounds of food to feed the same number of people, but I don't rely on God to provide as Jesus did.  Yes, I depend on Him to pay my bills and to heal my ailments and to care for my family, but it is nothing compared to Jesus' dependence every minute to heal the needy.

4. I am not as pure as Jesus
I struggle with pornography, I struggle with my thoughts.  I know Jesus had temptations and he had impure thoughts.  But he didn't act on them as I, giving into my weakness.

5. I don't pray as Jesus
Jesus knew that he needed to have intimate time with the Father each day.  He knew that prayer was the most essential time of day, and he sacrificed his sleep so he could hang out with the Father, which was his strength.  I'm too like the disciples, ready to sleep instead of having a relationship with the Father.  I am worn by the work, and I sleep instead of meditate or listen.  I pray as I can, the Lord's prayer and other prayers, but that's not the same as seeking the Father.

So please, don't follow me.  Follow Jesus.  He's the right one.  I might have some benefits, but I'm only a shadow of the Real Thing.  

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