Religion and Love

Here is a report by the NY Daily News about a divorced couple who can't agree about when to have their children baptized.  What is the logical choice?  Take it to court, of course!

The mother of the two young children baptized the kids without the father's consent, where it is assumed that she knew he would find the action unacceptable.  (She supports early baptism, while he affirms the anabaptist ideal of waiting until the children has full knowledge of what they are committing to).  So he takes her to court, and she will possibly be put in jail for this action because she violated the courts order that the religious upbringing of the children must be made with the knowledge (if not necessarily approval) of the father.

Legally, it makes some sense.  Under Jesus' law, this is insane.  Having a secular court arbitrate in religious decisions is crazy.  Heck, having a court arbitrate in personal matters is insane.

But the legal system has nothing to do with Jesus' standards of love.  Is it loving to put the mother of your children in jail because she disagrees with you about baptism?  Absolutely not.  Does it display love for the children to have their mother put in jail because of something they did?  What does that communicate to the children?  That they have driven their parents apart again.

This is why Jesus said in Matthew 12 that our laws and religious beliefs need to be subjected to mercy.  Every time we make a judgment, it should be put to the test of love: is it loving to force David and his men to go hungry because they weren't supposed to eat that bread?  Is it loving for the disciples to be judged for plucking grain in the field on the Sabbath?

Is it loving?  Does it show mercy?  If our religion can't abide by this principle, then throw the religion out, it's worthless.

A Parable of the Kingdom

Once there was a king who had three sons. He was determining who should rule after him, so he gave them each a portion of his vast kingdom, and told them to rule well. As good sons, they came to him and said, "Father, you are the great king, all wise and just. Please tell us how to rule as you have done."

The Emperor looked at each of them from his throne and said, "Write down what I say and you will know all that is necessary to rule: Sovereignty. Justice. Mercy. Sacrifice. Love. Peace. Understand these words and you will rule well." The three sons were a bit mystified, but all were confident that, given time, they would be able to understand the meaning of the Great King, and rule well.

After a year, the King called his sons back and asked them how they ruled.

The first son said this: "After some time of considering your words and spending time with your subjects, I realized that they were faithless and stupid. Then I understood your words. I am the sovereign and I must rule strongly. I must deliver justice to the people, punishing them for their sins. However, I must remind them that you, O King, are merciful and do not want them all to die. However, they must learn to sacrifice their wills to Yours, and thus learn to Love each other by loving the Law of the land. Only then there will be Peace."

The King replied, "And I understand that you punished all, for all were unworthy in your sight. This is not my rule of mercy. You are dismissed."

The second son said, "I, too, considered your words, my King, and applied them to my rule. I realized that I am not the sovereign, but You are, O King. I am only here to dispense your justice and mercy to the people. Thus, I sought to apply your law precisely, punishing the wicked and rewarding the obedient. I taught them to sacrifice their possessions to me, so that I might re-distribute them in love. And then we achieved the peace of having all needs met."

The King replied to the second son, "Because you took all land and all possessions from my people, you made them all poor, grudgingly giving back to them. This is not my rule of justice. You are dismissed."

Finally came the primary servant of the third son, and he said, "I regret to tell you, my Lord, that your son is dead. This is what occurred: He also, considered your words and he realized that he himself was given sovereignty over your people, which was a noble task, of which few are worthy. He saw the poor of your land being oppressed and the wealthy squandering their power on their own indulgence and distractions. But rather than punish them, your son remembered your word, "sacrifice" and realized that he must sacrifice himself for all the people. So he took all the power and wealth you gave him, traveled around the country and taught all the people how to share possessions, how to see with compassion and how to love each other with one's own heart. In this way, he created peace among all who listened to him.

"I wish that were the end of the story. His brother, the first son, came to his land and stirred up the wealthy, claiming that the third son was not obeying your will. They lied about him and persecuted him gladly, for he was telling them the only way to follow your will was to sacrifice their possessions and power. Because he threatened all power, the other king spurred the powerful to kill your third, innocent son."

The King bowed his head and tears came to his eyes. "Yes, I have heard all of these tidings. My son," and he turned to the first son, "You are cast from my presence. I never want to see you again. You were never interested in my will, only in punishment." Then the King turned to the servant, "Little one, because you have loved my son, my son who followed my heart of compassion, then I proclaim you to be King over all of my lands."

The servant declared, "But my Lord, I am not worthy!"

The King chuckled, "Of course you are not. But anyone who has my heart at least deserves the chance to become worthy. Worth isn't in correct interpretation, nor in delivering justice. Worth is found in seeing others' needs and doing all you can to meet them."

This parable is not about Christianity, per se. Nor is it about the atonement and how it works. Rather, it is about how one interprets the Bible. The Bible is confusing and difficult. There are a number of things that don't make sense. The one who understands the Bible correctly is the one who has the heart of the Father, following the example of His Son.

Why Do The Nations So Furiously Rage?

Leeanne T asked me what I do when people are so hard-hearted as to not allow us to love as God has called us to love. What to do when they put up blocks to meet people's needs. My response:

It is really stressful to care for people. I think thats why so few people do it, really. The cost of caring is just too high for most people.

This is what I do when our effort has failed and people still suffer:

Cry out to God for His mercy.

Trust that God is still working, even behind the scenes.

Surrendering our own effort, recognizing that we aren't the one who saves but God is.

Love with what we have, but when we realize we have run out, to hand our loved ones over to God.

Cry, sometimes, even though you know it doesn't help in the long run.

Break the law, if the law tells you not to love.

Rant on the internet. Yeah, I do that a lot.

Saving v. Risky Spending

Something I fell upon: a fable by Reb Zalman Schantar-Shalomi in the book, The Jew In The Lotus.

A man who believed in reincarnation went to a Swiss bank with a ton of cash. He told the bank to hold the money until another person with a certain password came, then the account could be managed by that individual.

Thirty years later a different man came to the bank and gave them the password, demanding that they give him all the money. When the bank owners questioned his judgment, he said, "I told you to save it then. But now it is time to use it.?"

Religious tradition is formed so that our communities might have continuity. The best people to invest that tradition are conservatives. But the best people to spend that investment are those who will take a risk.

It is time to spend our investment on risky love.

Self Love and Other Love

Adapted from the preface to Thomas Merton's book, No Man Is An Island.

Every human being ultimately seeks their own salvation and the salvation of those whom they live with. This salvation is the “good life”, not found in the realization of the “american dream”, but in the fulfillment of each individual’s God-given powers, in the love of others and of God. This fulfillment cannot come through one’s own ability, but each person must be found in and through others. These three Scriptures are fulfilled in this: “If any man would save his life, he must lose it”; and, “Love one another as I have loved you”; and “We are all members of one another.”

Some would say that salvation, then is discovered in the setting aside of ourselves. On the contrary, the discovery of Christ is never genuine if it is nothing but a flight from ourselves. Our salvation cannot be an escape. It must be a fulfillment. I cannot discover God—the power that raised Christ from the dead—unless I have the courage to face myself exactly as I am—a poor, limited perplexed soul.

Thus, salvation is a terrible tangle of paradoxes. We become ourselves by dying to ourselves. We gain only what we give up, and if we give up everything we gain everything. We cannot find ourselves within ourselves, but only in others, yet at the same time before we can go out to others we must first find ourselves. The best way to love ourselves is to love others, yet we cannot love others unless we love ourselves since it is written, “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.” But if we love ourselves in the wrong way, we become incapable of loving anyone else.

There are many errors in achieving a balance between loving others and oneself:

Giving for oneself
There is a spiritual selfishness which even poisons the good act of giving to another. It is possible for me to love selfishly in the very act of depriving myself of material things for the benefit of another. If my gift is intended to bind him to me, to put him under an obligation, then in loving him I am really loving myself. And this is a greater selfishness, since it traffics not in flesh and blood, but in other person’s souls. This says that in loving another we simply seek the most effective way to love ourselves.

Loving one other
We might be tempted to the hedonism of romantic love. In this, we deny ourselves just enough to share with one another the pleasures of life. We admit a certain selfishness, and feel that in doing so we are being realistic. Our self denial is just sufficient to provide us with a healthy increase in our mutual satisfactions. In a bourgeois world, romantic love knows how to mask as Christian agape. This limits love to only one, no other.

Destroying ourselves
There is the temptation to destroy ourselves for the love of the other. The only value is love of the other. Self-sacrifice is an absolute value in itself. And the desire of the other is an absolute value. No matter what the other desires, we will give up our life or our soul to please the other. This is a false love, which makes it a point of honor to follow the beloved even into hell. This says we must only love others.

Isolation
Another temptation is to go the other extreme and say, “Hell is other people.” In that case love itself becomes the great temptation and the great sin. Because it is an inescapable sin, it is also hell. But this is simply the love of self in solitude. It is the love that is mortally wounded by its own incapacity to love another, and flies from others in order to not to have to give itself to them. This says we must only love ourselves.

All these answers are insufficient. The true answer, which is supernatural, tells us that we must love ourselves in order that we would be able to love others, and that we find ourselves by giving ourselves to them. True love is the gift of ourselves—cared for and fully functional—for others.

This is not merely a helpful suggestion, it is the fundamental law of human existence. Man is divided against himself and against God by his own selfishness, which divides him against his brother. This division cannot be healed by a love that places itself only on one side of the rift. Love must reach over to both sides and draw them together. We cannot love ourselves unless we love others, and our love of others is incomplete without loving ourselves. And a selfish love of ourselves makes us incapable of loving others.

This truth never becomes clear as long as we assume that each one of us, individually, is the center of the universe. We do not exist for ourselves alone, and it is only when we are fully convinced of this fact that we begin to love ourselves properly and thus also love others.

What do I mean by loving ourselves properly? I mean, first of all, desiring to live, accepting life as a very great gift and a great good, not because of what it gives us, but because of what it enables us to give to others. We have what is called a “death instinct.” It is the power of a self-love that has turned into self-hatred and which, in adoring itself, adores the monster by which it is consumed. It is therefore of supreme importance that we consent to live not for ourselves, but for others.

We will only be able to do this when we face our own limitations. As long as we secretly adore ourselves, our own deficiencies will remain to torture us with an apparent defilement. But if we live for others, we will gradually discover that no one expects us to be “as gods.” We will see that we are human, like everyone else, that we all have weaknesses and deficiencies, and that these limitations of ours play a most important part in all our lives. It is because of them that we need others and others need us. We are not all weak in the same spots, and so we supplement and complete one another, each one making up in himself for the lack in another.

Only when we see ourselves in our true human context, as members of a race which is intended to be one organism and “one body,” we will begin to understand the positive importance not only of the successes but of the failures in our lives. My successes are not my own. The way to them was prepared by others. Nor are my failures my own. They may spring from the failure of another, but they are also compensated for by another’s achievement.

Every other man is a piece of myself, for I am a part and a member of mankind. Every Christian is a part of my body, because we are members in Christ. What I do is also done for them and with them and by them. What they do is done by me and for me.

Only when this truth is absolutely central do other teachings fit into their proper context. Humility, self-denial, action and contemplation, service, giving and community—none of these make sense except in relation to the central reality which is God’s love living and acting in those whom he has incorporated his Christ. Nothing at all makes sense unless we admit, with John Donne, that “No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent.”

To love others is to make a gift of oneself.

What's My Grace?

God is less impressed with those who have a tremendous amount of theological grace than those who display grace in their lives. It's one thing to say that God has abundant grace, but unless we show it ourselves, no one will believe it.

For this reason, severe judgment will be put on people if they reject practical mercy and grace and forgiveness in their lives. God reserves hell for those who put other people through hell now.

"If you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions."

"For judgment will be merciless to one who has shown no mercy; mercy triumphs over judgment."

How To Love Idiots

“Love one another,” “Treat others as you would be treated,” “Love your neighbor as yourself” “Be merciful as your Father in heaven is merciful” “Love your enemy, do good to those who hate you”— Jesus was clear, that loving those around us is our most important task, apart from being faithful to God.  And yet, it is funny how we often take our relationships for granted (unless we are dating someone we really like).  We assume that we treat everyone fairly and with love—even though sometimes it is “tough love”—and we expect to be treated fairly in return. 

However, dealing with people is the most difficult task imaginable—just ask God, He has a terrible time with it!  Jesus told us that our relationships should be a major priority in our lives just because they would be so difficult to maintain!  Jesus didn’t tell us to treat everyone with fairness, but with love and humility.  And this means, often, that we need to set aside our own ideals and focus on someone else’s needs and goals.  We cannot love if we are just thinking about being “fair” in relationships.  To love we must sacrifice and reach out.

1.       Meet others needs

When Jesus taught about love, he did not mean that love is a feeling, or a response, or a particular kind of relationship.  Rather, when Jesus said, “love” he meant an action.  To love is to act in the other person’s benefit, whatever that means.  And the most basic way of doing what will help another person is to make an attempt to meet their needs.  This is why when Scripture talks about Christian duty, it describes feeding the poor, visiting the sick and welcoming the stranger.  Because loving means seeing the need and doing your best to meet it.

                But we also need to recognize that people need more than bread and clothes.  Jesus himself did much more than meet people’s physical needs—although that was a big part of what he did.  Fundamentally, people feel that they have the following needs:

·         Survival—Having one’s basic needs met, such as hunger, sleep and health

·         Security—Feeling safe from what one fears

·         Inner Peace—A sense of contentment with life

·         Pleasure—Enjoyment and laughter

·         Honor—A sense of being significant to others

·         Society—Feeling a part of others and communicating with them

There are other needs that we have—a relationship with God, understanding significant truths, a sense of being a “good person”, but we don’t always feel these needs.  The six above we feel almost every day at one point or another, and they deeply control our sense of well-being and color our perception of everything around us.  When Jesus met needs, he recognized that people not only needed their “survival” needs met, but also the other ones.  Especially in his teaching, he wanted people to feel secure, to have peace, to have joy, to gain honor and to be a part of a good society. 

                Even so, when we are looking to meet people’s needs, we need not only look at survival needs, although those are foundationally important.  But we must also remember to give people respect, to ease people’s fears, to help them laugh and enjoy themselves, to just communicate with others.  In doing all of this, we are loving.  And all of it is acting in love.

2.       Be Humble

Perhaps when you picked up this tract, you thought, “Oh good—I’ve got a lot of idiots I’m supposed to love.”  However, the most important lesson Jesus taught us in loving others is “the first shall be last and the last first.”  If we really want to love others, the first step is to remember that, more often than not, WE are the idiots, not the people around us.  Rather than thinking, “I wish so-and-so could read this tract,” you need to take responsibility for your own idiocy in relationships.  If we are really going to love, we need to be humble.  How can we do that?

·         If a mistake was made, give others the benefit of the doubt

·         Take blame upon yourself, instead of pushing it on others

·         Focus on what other’s need, not yourself

·         If changes need to be made in communication, take as much responsibility on yourself as you can

·         Pray for other’s blessing—especially those you are in conflict with

If we place ourselves in the giving position, then we will find that we can actually deserve the honor we might expect others to give to us—whether we get it or not.  Most importantly, assume that the other person is trying to be as good and as polite as they can.  You may feel that they are acting rude or badly or stupidly.  But, chances are, they are not.  They are just trying to meet their needs, just like you are.

3.       Recognize differences in communication

Another way we can be humble is to recognize that, more often than not, the people around us are not idiots, or jerks, or rude, but they have different communication patterns than we do.  If we see someone who looks like an immigrant come up to us and speak loudly in a foreign language, waving his hands, we would not think he was rude, but that he just didn’t have the same customs that we do.  But if we see someone speak to us in our language, with our accent, speaking loudly and waving her hands, we would think that she is rude, or possibly have some mental problems.  But some people grow up in situations in which speaking loudly (or quietly) and using expansive gestures (or using none at all) is normal, and they are just trying to speak to us normally.  We do not feel that it is normal at all—we feel that it is rude, or that they have a problem with us.  But often it is not that case at all.  We have to take account of other’s different way of speaking.

                For instance, different people have a different sense of how long one must pause to allow another person to speak.  If one person expects people to talk over her, then she might not give anyone else a chance to speak, and so feel that no one is interested in what she is talking about, because no one is responding.  On the other hand, another person might feel that she is hogging up all the time to speak because she won’t stop for a few seconds so they can chime in.  Neither person is rude, they just don’t understand how the other person communicates.

                There are many kinds of communication differences: How much space to give another person when talking, how direct or indirect one’s requests should be, what kind of touching is appropriate between people, how people should apologize, and how a conversation should begin.  Instead of assuming others are “idiots”, perhaps we should try their kind of communication with them and see if they respond positively to it.

4.       Respond Positively to Interactions

Every time we communicate with others, we may have as many as a hundred interactions with them in ten minutes.  With everything people say to us, we are reacting—even if we think we are giving a neutral or a non-response.  With every bit of communication, we either respond with them—on their side—against them or just ignoring them.  In a positive relationship, up to 9 out of 10 responses will be positive.  If even four out of ten of the responses one gives is offensive or ignoring the other, then the relationship is rapidly going downhill, and may never recover unless something is done. 

                A negative response to someone doesn’t mean that you can’t disagree with them.  On the contrary, two people could be having a conflict, but their reactions are positive toward each other.  It is HOW they disagree.  If they keep the conversation upbeat, break the heavy discussion with humor sometimes, always show respect for the other person and the relationship, then even a conflict can be a positive relationship. However, if a conversation is characterized by biting sarcasm, insults, outbursts of anger, threats, treating the other like a child, or simply ignoring what another person says, then that conversation will tear down the relationship.

                In loving others, we need to work on our communication, so we always try to respond positively.  This does not mean just ending the conversation on an upbeat note, but trying to communicate in a positive way throughout the conversation.  This can be difficult, and we can make many mistakes along the way, but with God’s help we can do it—even to those who have hurt us.

5.       Find the True Meaning behind the Words

None of us means what we say.  Most of our communication is a parable of what we really mean.  We often ask “how are you?”, but we almost never are looking for a doctor’s diagnosis.  A husband may say “I love you,” but not at that moment feel a surge of emotion for his wife.  Our child may say, “I don’t feel good,” but they might just be emotionally hurt, not having a physical ailment.  Even so, quite a bit of our words have meaning that is not stated directly in the words we used.

                And it isn’t only words.  I could say, “My mother in law is coming to visit,” and depending on the look on my face or my tone of voice, I would communicate to you whether I liked that idea or not.  But if you didn’t understand my non verbal communication—you heard disgust in my voice when I was trying to communicate with my face happy anticipation—then we will get our wires crossed and spend time trying to unravel the miscommunication.

                Or we might get into a conflict with another person, and we can argue about the silliest things—whether the sky is actually sky blue or not—whatever.  But if we get into a conflict, often the conflict is not about what we are directly discussing.  Perhaps the argument is about how one communicates.  Or it could be about a long-held ideal or dream that hasn’t been communicated yet.  And the conflict could go on eternally without resolution, because the true meaning of the conflict hasn’t yet been discussed.

                If the person we are communicating with understands our indirect communication, fine, no problem.  However, every time we use indirect communication, we are taking the chance that the other person might misunderstand.  And then we don’t understand what they misunderstood because we communicated as clearly as we could—or so we thought. 

                We need to do our best to get behind the simple meaning of the words.  And how do we do this?  We ask.  We tell the other person what they think they meant by a face or an argument, and give them a chance to explain in a different way. 

6.       Listen Carefully

Jesus told us that we must “Be careful how you listen.”  It is never enough to just listen, but we must listen in a way that communicates.  Even our listening communicates a reaction to what others say.  And how we listen can either meet others needs or tear them down. 

                If we do not look like we are listening to the other person, then they think we are ignoring them and they are not important to us.  One person may expect someone to look at her when she is talking, but her partner may need to look at the floor to concentrate.  Even if he can repeat everything she said, she will still not feel listened to, but ignored.  When listening, we need to show that we are interested, in the best way we can, in the way the person we are listening to understands.

                We might ask questions, but not too many.  We might make listening “noises” like “uh huh”, but not too often.  We might nod, but not too excitedly.  If we do not do these things enough, the other will think that we are ignoring them.  But if we do these things too much, then the other person will think that we are not trying to listen, but to take over the conversation.  We must find the right balance for each person.

                The most important part of listening in love is two things:  First, don’t be trying to force your agenda on the other person.  Let them say what they need to say.    Second, do your best to give them your full attention.  Because we live in a society in which everyone feels that everyone is too busy to listen, this is the best gift that anyone can give.

 (Thanks to the work of John M Gottman and Deborah Tannan)

Atheism and Homelessness

Some reflections on Facebook of a cart pushed by a homeless man with a sign that says, "There is no God."

"When I initially saw this, my first thought was what the.... Then my thought was what was it that brought this man to this place. Then realized, he needed to experience love, especially the love of God that at times seems so void to many." -Mike Furches

"Indeed he does need to experience love, God's love. As does everyone who has concluded that there is no God. God's word does say "The fool has said in his heart, 'There is no God.'" One can be a rich fool or a poor fool. Everyone experiences trials and hardships in life, to which one can react with bitterness and blame God or deny his existence, or by recognizing their dependence on God and crying out to him for help. Some people's hardships and sorrows are more visible to others, but all have them. A poor homeless person who denies God is as lost as a rich, apparently comfortable one, and neither has any more of an excuse in God's eyes than the other. Both are headed to Hell. But God doesn't want anyone to be lost that way. As He says in Ezekiel 33:11, "As surely as I live, declares the Sovereign LORD, I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn from their ways and live. Turn! Turn from your evil ways!" Someone who is a declared enemy of God, IMO is far more likely to be turned than someone who is complacent and believes he is "just as good as anyone else." As a former atheist, I'm an example. Understanding why someone feels bitter toward God can help you to connect with someone to help guide them to God, but it doesn't give them an excuse. It also smacks of condescension to imply that it does, and that they can't help it." -John Culp

To say that someone has a reason for their irrationality is not to excuse it, but to give us an opportunity to get to know the person rather than reject them outright. On the other hand, to call someone a fool or hell bound separates us from this person, where we no longer see them as human and it gives US an excuse to ignore them. Even as a man has no excuse before God for denying Him, we who claim to believe in God have no excuse before God for ignoring and not loving His enemies, even as He does. -Steve Kimes

"Okay so I wanted to weigh in on this one because I feel I kinda need to. I was homeless once and if someone approached me with my negative mindset towards God at that moment and quoted what John said, I would've turned even FURTHER away from God then I already was. John I know what God's word says, but He also speaks about His lovingkindness and compassion. Homeless people do NOT need to be condemned for things like this. What they need is someone to come alongside them and be the hands and feet of Jesus THEN share the Gospel with them. Let he who has committed no wrongs cast the first stone. We don't stone people with rocks so much anymore, but we DO stone them with our judgemental attitudes." -Jenny Baker

Apathy and Hatred

Apathy is the bedfellow of hatred. Both are equally the enemy of love.

Phil replies on Facebook:
Yes and apathy can sometimes be worse than hatred. I think God would rather have us hate Him than not care at all... or be lukewarm.

I reply:
Not to disagree with your basic notion, but the basis for the idea that God would rather have us hate him, Revelation 3:16, when it speaks about the church being either "cold or hot" means that either cold water or hot water is useful-- good for drinking or cooking. But lukewarm water is the only one not useful at all. The apathetic Christian is like lukewarm water, as is the hating Christian-- neither does the will of God, which is love.

God's Economics of Charity

A response to the article, "Prosperity in Community"
http://beta.worldwideopen.org/resources/detail/295

Great article by the way. In it, you mention that "stewardship is frequently seen as increasing wealth for later distribution rather than distributing wealth for present increase of all."

How do you think that relates to the Wesleyan principle of "make the most money so that you can give the most money away." Or, put another way, "Gain all you can, save all you can, give all you can." And if we are go go against Wesley’s method, then who is to be the distributor of this wealth for the present increase of all. It seems the government, and sadly even the Church, is pretty poor at doing this.

Finally, how does this apply to those who find themselves in a position of service that also make a decent income (e.g. physicians)? It appears that one can have empathy, live in community, and have a strong income. However, the words of I John 3:16-18 still apply, and the prerogative then becomes "live modestly and give the rest away." Is there a better way?


Thanks for your response, J.

Honestly, I think that the number one thing that destroys ministry opportunities is th concern for a "decent income" or the attempt to "make the most money."

In Anawim, I have worked as a pastor and leader for 10 years without a regular income of any sort. My family had to begin as homeless so we could minister to the homeless. God is my boss and He is the one who provides us with everything we need. And He has. Abundantly. The more we worry about what money we will "make" then the less we are doing things for the Lord and we are actually serving Mammon, which Jesus said we cannot do both at the same time.

I believe that Scritpure teaches that if we have resources, then it is our just duty to give them to those who have need. (I John 3:16-18, as you quoted) And, if we do so faithfully, then God will provide all of our needs (Psalm 41:1-3; Luke 12:22-34 -read the whole thing!). So the economy of God is that of charity-- continually giving and receiving, and the more you give, the more you will end up receiving.

I am not saying that having a strong income is a sin. But the focus cannot be the income-- that is just feeding into the world’s unjust, uncharitable economy. We should never consider what one "deserves" as people who follow Jesus. If Jesus thought that way, he would never have sacrificed himself for our sins. Instead, we should think of the need and how, with our meger resources, we can meet the need. And then, out of heaven, God provides out of his abundant resources.

You are right, though. The Church, sadly, is terrible at distributing resources. Because, like the rest of the world, they want to build themselves up rather than meet needs. So who should distribute? The cheerful, generous giver who considers what the other needs, rather than seeing giving as an arduous task that must be done out of duty. Distribution should never be handed to the judge who surrenders a small amount based on a moral measure, however.

Of course, this brings up as many quesitons as answers. But I suspect this forum is too short to really discuss it at length.

One last thing, J, and this may apply better to your query at the end.

I believe that Scripturally, there are three models of giving that are all radical, and loving.

1. Sell your possessions and give to the poor. This is the model of live modestly and give the rest away that you mention. I think that it is the basic model you have presented by Jesus.

2. Live without possessions This is the model of the disciples. They didn’t give to the poor, really, but lived as the poor to give the gospel to the poor. They completely depended on God’s resources.

3. Shared use. This is the model of the early Gentile church. The early church, rather than selling everything they had, used it in community. Thus, if someone had a house, that house was to be used for the Christian community and had people in need staying there. If someone had food, they brought it to the community for all to share. We see this frequently in Acts and in Paul’s letters (I Timothy 6, e.g.)

So, although I think that the first model should be normative, all three models could easily be used together.

Lust For God?

Is it possible to take sexual energy and direct it toward God? In other words, instead of using the sexual energy on masturbation, etc, is it possible to focus it on God?

Okay, a tricky one.

Sexual energy comes from a combination of hormones and brain activity that we can call lust. This lust is focused on a physical being and is tied into the sights, smells, actions and personality of that being. I don't think it can really be focused on God. It can be used for God-- in a marriage, of course. But the energy and the build up of pleasure hormones in the brain can be redirected-- with difficulty-- to act for God's kingdom, especially service.

There are three biochemical aspects to love: lust, "falling in love", and affection. While sexual energy can't be focused directly on God, the second two can. I have experienced this myself, but "falling in love" with God didn't last, just like it doesn't with a human being. But when it did, I was more focused on God and ready to worship Him than ever in my life. The important thing, however, is to not focus on the feeling but on God himself. Otherwise, when the feeling goes away, you feel emptied of God. But God is always there, always loving, always supporting, even if we don't feel Him.

Nine Principles

I received yesterday "9 principles" that someone lives by. I didnt' care for them, so I made my own:

9 Principles:
1. The only nation without compromise is the Kingdom of God

2. Jesus is my chosen Lord over that Kingdom

3. Jesus is my Lord and I will obey Him over all other principles or laws.

4. God is my allegiance and I will work for and serve Him.

5. Those who love God will obey, work for and serve the Kingdom of God over the nations of men.

6. The people of the Kingdom of God are the poor and persecuted who live in Jesus, and those who unequivocally support them.

7. Service to the Kingdom of God is using whatever resources we have for those who have greater needs than ourselves

8. All true power rests in God, so to make real change we must pray.

9. No one has the right, in the name of God, to damage anyone.

What Does God Want In A Marriage?

First published in MennoDiscuss:

I think that the most important thing we should remember is that a Christian marriage should be a little congregation.

We should hold each other accountable to living in Jesus and obeying Him. We should restore each other with gentleness and with the guidance of the Holy Spirit. We should be aware of each other's needs and meet them when we can. We should pray for each other, especially when one is in difficult circumstances. We should rejoice when the other is rejoicing and weep when the other is weeping. And while the wife is to submit and the husband is to sacrificially love, this will often look on the outside as the couple submitting to each other. And there should be no place for pride in a marriage.

Obviously, this is a goal. My wife and I are still working on it. If we acheive it, we'll let you know.