Jesus told us to love our enemies, so if we are followers of
Jesus, that’s pretty basic. But even as
followers of Jesus we can create an enemy in our minds so insidious, so
horrible that whatever measures we use against that enemy is justified. This is called hatred or rage or bitterness. It
could be against an ex-spouse, against a political party, against a group who
hurt us, against a corporation or against an ideology.
Signs We Are In Attack Mode
It is a state of mind, like falling in
love, in which all of our life experiences are colored by this experience, and
we don’t know how much it affects us.
And if someone mentions it, we will often deny that we are in a state of
hatred. So how can we know? Here are some signs:
1.
We find ourselves thinking about these same
wrongs done by our opponent when our minds are at ease.
2.
We will re-direct conversations (especially on
the internet) to the wrongs done, even when the connection in the conversation
is tenuous at best.
3.
Our friends stop conversing with us, for fear we
will bring up this subject again.
4.
We ignore our close friends’ recommendations
that we have gone over the deep end in this subject.
5.
We excuse our actions and obsessions by saying, “But
they deserve it!” which gives us an excuse to list their sins again.
6.
We pursue any opportunity to list the sins of
our opponent, and we think that this is the best way to gather supporters
against them.
7.
We cannot see what good our opponent does,
everything they do is black, with no shades of gray.
8.
Those who see some good they do, or who question
some of our propositions must be absolutely convinced of our opponent’s evil.
9.
If it comes, we rejoice in our opponent’s
downfall.
10.
We find ourselves participating in groups that
express hatred in open terms with which we are uncomfortable, but we think our
cause allows for that.
What can we do?
If we find ourselves in such a
state, we might be both a little embarrassed but also assured that we are
right. In some ways we might very well
be right. It is easy to find wrongdoers,
but harder to change the situation into right.
Jesus does not want us to spew hatred against our enemies, but to love
them, to convert them to doing right through Him. How can we do that?
1.
Change ourselves.
If we want to change those around us, or
part of the world, we must first change ourselves. We must be the change we see in others. If we want to be listened to, we must first
listen. If we want to be forgiven, we
must first forgive. If we want justice,
we must first enact justice. If we want
our opponent to change, we must enact the change in our lives, in our
communities, and show how it works better.
2.
Release bitterness.
Our listing of other’s sins and perpetual
angry speech isn’t hurting our opponent, it is only hurting ourselves by making
us bitter people. We need to recognize
that we are making others uncomfortable with us by creating an enemy. Even if they have attacked us first, we are
the ones perpetuating the war. For our
own sakes, we need to release this bitterness.
But if our minds are so focused on this, how can we possibly overcome
it?
-Take a fast of judging speech. Don’t post anything angry about anyone on your FB page, don’t blog about it, don’t talk to your spouse about it for as long as you feel necessary. A month is a good, round number, and the sins of our opponent will still be there when we are done with the fast.
-Don’t allow ourselves to think about it when our minds our quiet. We can’t actually stop thinking about something, but we can distract ourselves with things that are positive—books, movies, music that focuses us on what is good, honorable and noble.
-Make a list of what positive things our opponent
has done. Every person, group and
organization has done something good. If
we can’t see it, it is because we are blinded by our own anger. If we really want our opponents to change, we
must admit what good they have done, even if the good is only positive
motivation—that they tried to do something good, even if they failed. This is a hard step, but unless we can do
this, our own healing is on hold.
3.
Use your anger for good
Bald anger only produces more anger. We can use our anger to be wise, to see good
be done. Instead of speaking against someone, we need to figure out ways to
positively stop the evil being done. To “win”
is not to cause our opponent to fail, for that only leaves a void for another
person/organization to step in and cause evil again. Rather, we need to produce good that will
replace the evil. This requires
imagination and ingenuity. But if we
have the energy to be angry, we have the energy to turn that anger to produce
good out of it. And in whatever action
you do against your opponent, be able to say to them honestly “I love you (opponent),
and so I want to see (positive action) happen.”
4.
For every negative comment, make two positive
ones
There is a time for anger. There is a time to talk about wrongs
done. But if that’s all we are talking
about, we are only bringing more anger into the world. Vow to not only talk about wrongs done on the
internet or in conversation, but to focus on the good. Be funny.
Post beauty. Encourage
someone. In this way your life will have
a better balance.
