Neurospicy characteristics

Autism and ADHD are not just one set of characteristics, but it is a spectrum of a variety of characteristics. Each autistic person has a different set of these general characteristics, and they are each applied uniquely to each autistic person. So you can't just find a "definition" of autism and apply it to yourself to see if you fit or not. 

For instance, a common characteristic of an autistic or ADHD person is "stims" or repeated actions that we do in order to balance our overwhelming energies. But each autistic person has a different stim or set of stims we use.  Stereotypically, an autistic person might flap their hands, bounce their torso, or pace manically.  My stims are that I bounce my leg, pace when talking, fingerspell (sign language) words I see or randomly think of, or sing aloud.  All of these can calm me down and get me ready for another activity.

The fingerspelling, especially, is rare as a stim. Very few people do that, but when we think of it as a form of echolalia (repeating a word one hears or thinks of), then it is not uncommon among autistic folks, it's just that my version is quieter.  Singing is pretty rare, but humming is pretty common..

Another thing about stims is that we can sometimes exchange one stim for another.  For instance, I will scratch my leg, often until I'm bleeding.  That is not a positive stim.  But I found that there is a group of "toys" called fidget toys that are made especially for "pain stims".  A "pain stim" is when we are so agitated that we need pain to break us out of the funk we are in.  I got a "cutie pie" fidget toy, which is a cylinder for one's palm and it has sharp, scratchy surface so I can have pain stim need be "scratched" so to speak, if I roll it in my hands. That's not for everyone, but it works for me.

Stimming is just one characteristic on the neurodivergent spectrum, and you see how complicated it is?  So there are a number of other characteristics.  Some examples: 

Inability to be "socially acceptable"
For example, I have a struggle answering the basic question "how are you?"  I overthink it and can't decide what they want to hear without me needing to lie. "Fine" is a lie, by the way. 

Difficulty communicating
I have periods of time in which I will have difficulty talking or initiating conversation.

Hyper- or hypo activity
I will have times, sometimes months, in which any activity is difficult to do without a meltdown.

Sleep difficulties
I will often wake up in the middle of the night, unable to sleep for an hour or two.

BM or urination problems
I feel that I need to go to the bathroom, but I cannot release my waste (this is usually due to anxiety)

Depression/anxiety
I have constant depression, daily.  I have frequent anxiety but for years I denied it.

Seeking dopamine raising activities
I would volunteer for difficult activities, without fear or dread. 

Hyperfixation on a subject that could last weeks or almost all of one's life
As soon as I heard about Jesus (before I was a Christian), I would seek more and more information about this person. On the other hand, I went through a number of months where I needed to find out information about the cartoon Steven Universe.

Inattention on what is "important" or hyperfocus on what is "unimportant"
If I am having an important conversation in a living room, it is difficult for me to not pay closer attention to the books on a shelf than the conversation I am supposed to have.

Meltdowns or shutdowns
I can get so emotionally distraught that I can't talk or have to walk away or I will get very upset and start yelling.

Executive dysfunction
I need to make a phone call but I can't bring myself to do it.  That part of my brain just isn't accessible.

Any one of these characteristics any "normal" person (neurotypical) can have.  An autistic/ADHD person will have many of them (probably not all) and they are continuously a hindrance to achieving personal goals or in having relationships with others. And when one experiences these over a long period of time without a sufficient break, then comes burnout.  Personally, for the last few years, I've been in perpetual burnout.

I don't say this for people to have pity on me or other autistic/ADHD folks.  Just so that we can understand each other and give each other space when necessary. 

Aw, DHD

 

https://ablelight.org/blog/why-the-autism-wheel-is-replacing-the-spectrum/

It seems that everyone is getting diagnosed with some sort of neurodivergence.  Quite a fashionable trend. All the cool kids are getting a diagnosis.

Yeah, not really.  But I did.  And so did my family.

My daughter got identified as autistic in 2014. 

My son got diagnosed as autistic in 2015.

We were then told that it is heredity, from the male genetic side.  So I tested myself with one of the online tests.  Didn't seem to be right for me.

A few years ago, I was officially diagnosed with AuDHD-- both autism and ADHD.

My other daughter this year was diagnosed with ADHD, with a likelihood of autism.

And my wife, who isn't diagnosed with anything, and won't talk to a therapist,  is likely some form of neurodivergent. 

Yep, we hit the jackpot. And now that my son is living with us again, here we are, all together, living in Eugene in one house together. 

Frankly, that's how it should be because at least we all understand our weaknesses and we won't attack each other for not having normal capacity.

I'll talk more about this, but for now, know that a family of neurodivergent folks is expensive.

My one daughter insists upon having Starbucks daily because it is a part of their routine. If they don't get Starbucks, they will cry.  I don't like crying.  So they get Starbucks, even when they don't have a job, like now.

My other daughter has a very strict eating routine which doesn't usually include meat, but they recently found that they can eat meat made in a sous vide style (which involves slow cooking bagged meat in water?).  I'm glad they have broadened their eating, but the cuts are kinda pricey.  And when meat goes bad because they don't have energy to cook, then that's really pricey.

It used to be that my son couldn't do dishes or bring dishes to the kitchen.  After a few years of living with his friends, though, dishes became a  thing he could do. He's not quick about doing them, but he does them.  

Neurodivergence isn't necessarily a disability.  It is a different way of processing one's environment and social order that most people don't have.  It IS a disability when it processes the world in such a way that other people do not recognize that process.  Such as oversensitivity.  A main characteristic of neurodivergent folks is that they are very sensitive to certain everyday sensory features.  Some of mine is flickering lights (like all fluorescent bulbs), loud sudden noises,  a person standing too close to me, loud background noises, and different voices talking at the same time. Add those together and one of the most difficult situations for me is going to a grocery store that has all these sensory sensitivities all wrapped in one.

That doesn't mean I don't go to the store.  I do, quite frequently.  And it is unusual for me to have a shutdown (no talking/contact) or a meltdown (running away/throwing a fit) in a grocery store.  It has happened on occasion.  But the real issue is after the stress period is over and THEN I will have a shutdown or meltdown.  If I purpose to have a shutdown (stay away from people who might talk to me), then I can recover.  Eventually.  And that is an example of autistic burnout.

When I go to the store and I am very stressed, but don't show it, that is called masking.  And masking always leads to burnout.

And I will have to talk about that more another day.  This page is full. 

Hi, This is Steve Kimes, Anawim, Esq.

 I know it's been a while.  I've done a lot.  I know you've been through a lot in the last few years.  

The last post was in 2019, and my last series of posts was in 2017.  For most of us, that was a different era, a different life.  In 2025, things might look much darker for you.  I know they do for me. But I have more hope in some areas as well.

Just as an update, I want to give an outline of personal changes:

My covid fashion

-My movie watching has gone WAY down.

-However, I've been listening to a lot more albums.  I've written about 250 reviews of albums in the last ten months, most of albums I have heard for the first time most from the book 1001 Albums You Must Hear Before You Die. 

-I have been diagnosed with full blown Diabetes, ADHD, and Autism.

In light of that, I have done a lot of study on Autism and ADHD and AuDHD (because the combination of the two neural types is unique from either).

I've had three therapists.  The first one I saw face to face. That wasn't working.  The second one I gave a few weeks.  Then I asked for a therapist who won't pull punches and will just give it to be straight (this was before the TV show Shrinking). So they recommended another one.  She's been great. I've never seen her face and I like it that way.

Did I tell you I moved to Eugene, OR?  My family and I packed up and moved south permanently.  I'm pastor of Eugene Mennonite Church, a congregation that loves to sing but doesn't trust pretty much any theology.  They've been burned by Evangelicalism. I get that.

If there was any doubt, I am 100 percent supportive of  LGBTQ+.  And refugees.  And immigrants. And Palestine. I don't care for Trump one bit.  And I'm pretty unhappy with the Democrats. 

I don't know if I will be posting. more here.  I probably will, I have a lot of writing that hasn't been published.  I tried to set up a website and I have failed many times.  I can do Blogger.  I think that's my limit.  

Anyway, hope we can visit again.